A Match Made In Heaven - Chinese Matchmaking.
Monday, 14 September 2009
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In Chinese we say “緣份 yuanfen” which means “fate” or “predestination.”
This is the luck from heaven by which people are brought together.
The Chinese love to use this word.
The Chinese love telling their friends, “我們真有緣份” which means we are means to be together and our love is predestined to be together.
Sometimes, you will hear sad people saying, “我跟他沒緣份” which means “We’re not meant to be together.” when they break up.
In the olden Chinese days, the Chinese had not much freedom.
Their parents made all the decisions in almost all especially in marriage.
Their parents would go to the extent of hiring matchmakers (媒人) to do the job.
These matchmakers were usually old females who knew a lot of families in town.
They would get different Bazi (八字) and take it to a master to see if both parties are compatible, no clashes, no harming and in short are meant to be together.
Bazi, or Four Pillars of Destiny is drawn to see whether if theyre compatible or not.
When a pair were said to be matched and had successfully married, the families of the newlyweds would give the matchmaker a hong bao .
A skilled matchmaker can make quite a lot of profit.
Sometimes sad cases did arise for example a youung lady is said to jinx her future husband. Once the word go out, she will never able to get a husband.
Even her entire family reputaion will be effected.
This method is workable when we have a shy boy.
But there are certain problems with this matchmaking method.
All matchmakers want to make good money and the money only come from successful match-ups, some of them would try everything to get the couple married.
They would sometimes get an attractive girl, for example, and would trick the other family into believing about her impressive background.
Shortly after their marriage, the family would find out that the girl had been a widow or that she was infertile.She might be thrown out from the family.
In modern days, the couple or their parents still take the couples' birth details to a Sifu or master to have them read.
Eventhough the parents are aware that if the reading is not good, they normally would not go to the extent of breaking up the couple. But they still wanted to know.
Do you think all loving couples that live in harmony for more than thirty, fourty years are all having BaZi compatibilty? No the answer is definitely no.
So why is this so? The reason is we all have our own characteristics and personality. From our BaZi Four Pillars of Destiny, we know our characteristics and this personality changes from time to time.
We all have intelligence plus feeling and if we have the will and adapt to the changes nothing is impossible.
Therefore, next time when you see a non-compatible couples' BaZi don't be alert. Tell them their characteristics and ask them to change when necessary.
When a lady is read as jinxes her future husband or her current husband, I think it is very unfair. When her husband die at young age, from the lady's BaZi Four Pillars, yes it show clashes.
But if you read the man BaZi, you will find that his BaZi is even worst for that particular year. It is very cruel for the lady to take the full responsibility.
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