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Marriage and Love : Giving the right prescriptions

Friday, 25 May 2012
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One of the common question when people come for a BaZi Four Pillar of Destiny consultation is that they want to know their love fate; their marriage outcome whether their marriage will be a happy and prosperous one or their marriage will end up in divorce and so on. They aren’t just looking for good news or bad news; they are asking for some advice.

In the course of my practice of BaZi I have done reading from both locally and overseas. I understood one thing, the “cultural” context is very important when giving advice. In countries and society where it is very common to see divorces or divorce is not too difficult to undertake there will be more people asking about the right time to get divorce. Don’t be surprise is there are people asking when is the perfect time to divorce in order to gain some good return.

But in some others countries like in Asian, divorce is usually the last resort of advice given to customer by any BaZi masters. It is normal to suggest that a marriage might be dull, rough, abusive and even torturing. Many Asian couples are still expected to stay together as long as they could in order to save their marriage and for the best of their children.

Now the question is how can someone use BaZi can help and to plan out the decisions in marriage and relationship? As Chinese people always believe that a marriage is one life of happiness and among others personnel happiness is the main consideration.

Now let see what are the common scenarios when BaZi can help you make a decision on how to handle your marriage or relationship.

1. Waiting for the right person.

If your BaZi says that you will have a few relationships and most probably the “real marriage” which is of course the better one only comes later in life. What are your options?

If you choose the first person that come along and you feel good about him (at least at that time) and when later the real suitor appear in your life, you might face some kind of problems in your marriage or you might even be the kind of third person.

You can choose to get marry even when looking at your BaZi it shows no indication of marriage in that year. If your BaZi shows that you will have more that one relationship this can mean a few things. This marriage is not the fated one. This marriage is not going to last. This marriage will post some problems. There will be some changes in this marriage. The marriage will end up in divorce. You will have a new marriage and so on.

2. Waiting for the right time.

You must work according to your BaZi and Ta Yun (the 10 years block) luck cycle and not against it. If the time is not here yet for marriage, you might as well spent more time focusing on other issues and increase your productivity to achieve some good achievement and gain some good returns. There is pointless to chase after marriage when you know marriage is probably not going to happen or you will hit with the wrong marriage during this period of time. Instead you should chase others dreams in your life. Marriage is only one of the important paths in our life.

If you have failed in relationship or end up picking the wrong person, most probably you have some negative elements in your BaZi for example your spouse star being suppressed in your current 10 years block (Ta Yun) or your spouse palace is not health and having some clashes. If you are “lucky” the time of marriage comes early in your life and for many of us this time come a little late.

For some people, a late marriage is much better that an early marriage in order for their marriage to prosperous. For example if you know that if your married before 38 is likely to be unfavorable, it will be wiser for you not to marriage at an early age.

There are many occasion where marriage turns sour when people are “forced” to commit to marriage when actually they are not ready. This is normally psychological and many are influenced by their surrounding. Most of the time, it is in their BaZi. They are just not ready to take on the responsibility.

3. What is the solution when marriage is clashing?

What do you do when only after you are married you find out that your BaZi is clashing with you Ta Yun luck cycle?

If your BaZi reveals that you are going though a rough patch at this point of time, you can make use of this knowledge to get around the problem. Perhaps you just need to tolerate you other half more; close one eyes and be less calculative; join counseling and etc.

People say that “absence makes the heart fonder”. Maybe temporary separation likes working oversees can help and “fulfil” the BaZi request. I have seems many couples weathered through some tough years in their marriage almost come to divorce but didn’t chose the route.

Whatever it seems to be if you know the situation and there is solution then you can choose to take some serious actions.

4. Whose problem is it?

Many people are aware what are the problems but they refuse to acknowledge that their marital issues are caused by their own attitudes.

If many of my BaZi reading I have done, very often I encounter clients who always think the problem is with their spouses and never with them! They are always the victims. It is amazing how human nature is --- others are always wrong and we are always right.

Many husbands complain that their wives have changed and their marriage are dull and lacking of sparks but sometimes they don’t realize that their spouses have not changed but they themselves have changed or no longer bother with their relationship or some are feed up with their marriage.

Therefore they should first evaluate their own BaZi Four Pillar of Destiny to see if the problems are with THEM. If it is not then they can check their spouse’s BaZi chart.

For example if you are having strong "Hurting officer" Shang-guan 伤官 (伤) or "Food god" Shi-shen 食神 (食) your problem might be your overly high standard, high requirement and very demanding. It will be worst if you are a weak daymaster.

Is it very true that it is very hard to change someone’s attitude, it indeed need a lot of effort and determination.

When the right time is here the right person will come. If it is not the right time then focus on what the time is right for likes your career, accumulating wealth, personal growth, personal satisfaction and your education.

BaZi is all about at the right time taking the right action and taking advantage of your luck. For many of us missing the right time is like missing the boat forever and it will never come again. Worst if you have taken the wrong boat which is sinking or heading the wrong way. If you know your directions you will not make this kind of mistake.

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