Date Selection - Selecting an auspicious marriage date using 12 Day Offices method.
Wednesday, 23 July 2008
Recently, I’ve been quite busy doing wedding date selection for couples. Selecting a wedding date is difficult but not hard – there is a lot to coordinate and match when it comes to picking a good day but its possible to find a good number of good wedding dates in any given year.
Selecting a marriage date is probably the most typical type of date selection. Why is a good date important for marriage? Chinese couples will frequently seek an auspicious good date, often out of respect for their parents, for cultural practices, out of superstition, but without really understanding why it is important.
The copules are all well-intentioned (i.e. to please superstitious parents, and to cover all the grounds) but don’t realise that good dates and weekends, Sundays, Saturdays, the hotel’s availability, and etc do not always coincide. In other words, it is not easy to find a date that matches the requirements of the bride and groom and their family. Many people often do this on a date that is convenient or does not involve any queues and then focus all their energy (and date selection demands) on the banquet, religious ceremony or wedding dinner.
It is this lack of understanding of the value of a good date that leads to the common assumption with symbolism and auspiciousness rather the practical use. Hence the popularity of dates containing the number 8 and getting married in the 8th month become popular and often choosen. But these days, will not necessary be a good choice.
By selecting a good date will ensures that the outcome of the marriage is ultimately not negative. So if you have chosen the right person (in term of astrology), then the marriage will go well. But this of course, does not mean that a good date will prevent divorce or separation. Even with a good date, if you have choosen the wrong person, good date still cannot prevent divorce or separation. But at least your divorce may not be an messy and acrimonious affair.
Date Selection for marriage is of greater importance for those with individuals BaZi which indicate marriage problems. By having a good date, the marital problems are minimised. if your BaZi indicates problems with marriage, you ignore a good date at your peril! Of course, if your BaZi shows no issues with your marriage or spousal relationship, then the problems is not so severe. But most of the cases I’ve done to date, have shown some measure of problem in one way or another. But without doing a BaZi consult, people often are not aware of their potential problems and not aware of the importance of adhering to a good date.
Many people do not understand that when you use a generic good wedding date, that is not matched to your personal BaZi/FengShui and that of your prospective spouse, it is as good as using any date. A generic good wedding date can still be bad, if you have the unfortunate luck of selecting a date that just happens to be unfavourable for you or your spouse or both of you.
Now, the question is should you get a BaZi consultation. The way the Date Specialist carry out the selection will be much more complicated and sophisticated and much more personalised to the couple's BaZi.
But, if you apply the 12 Day Offices (建除十二神) method Click here for more, you will be sure getting a reasonably good date.
What date constitues the marriage date?
In the older day, this date is the day when the marriage ceremony take place. The marriage ceremony consists of the couple pray to their ancestors, pray to Heaven and Earth at the altar and then paying respects to their parents by serving them tea, which often called "tea ceremony". This ceremony signifies the man's family accepting the new bride into their family.
In modern life, the number of events involved in a marriage ha increased. There may be religious ceremony, cultural ceremony, wedding banquet, tea ceremony,and legal registration ceremony when the relationship if formalised in law through signing of legal documents.
People are often confused as to which date matters.
So which date really matters?
Always remember Heaven comes first, followed by Earth, then followed by Man according to the Cosmic Trinity. So when it comes to marriage date, the number 1 ranking go to the date of the religious ceremony and should be a very good date, tailored to the BaZi of the couple. Then come the Earth component come into place i.e the legal ceremony must be rank 2nd.. If the couple is both religious and civil minded, to be safe, one should select a good date for both ceremony.
As the wedding banquet inolves no legal obligation or commitment, it is not imprtant as the date for the religious ceremony or the legal ceremony. Always remember Heaven comes first, followed by Earth, then followed by Man according to the Cosmic Trinity.
The religious and the civil ceremony are the events that matter when it comes to marriage date selection. Therefore, it is these events that the couple should look into to have a good date that is personalised to their individual BaZi.
For a wedding banquet, a generic good date (for exmple not the month or year breaker) will usually suffice.
Step by step on how to select a good marriage date.
Step 1. Obtain the personal BaZi charts of both the bride and groom.
Step 2. Determine the personal breakers for the bride and groom.
This will help etermine which year is suitable for marriage.
For example is from Step 1. the the Groom was born in the year of Dragon 辰 (Chen) and the bride was born in the year of the Horse 午 (Wu). The Groom's personal breaker is Dog 戌 (Xu) and the bride's personal breaker is Rat 子 (Zi) So 2006 (year of the Dog) and 2008 (year of the Rat) are not suitable for marriage,
Step 3. Take away the bad dates.
Let's select June 2007 as their wedding month.
Tale out all the "Personal Breaker" , ""Month Breaker 月破 " and "Year Breaker 岁破 ".
Step 4. Pick the good day.
For marriage choose Success date "成", Stable "定" or Open "開" days according to 12 Day Offices (建除十二神) .
So June 13, June 25, are Success "成" days and one should consider these two best days.
If your are using our Chinese Alamanac (as the above), you will noticed that all these four days are colored in Red. For more on our Chinese Almanac Click here.
June 15 and June 27 are Open Days "開" which is also good and usable.
Step 5. Find the right hour.
When in order to select the right time, one must refer to the hour table.
Now, let us select June 13 2007 as the wedding day.
Based on the hour table, Dragon 辰 (Chen) which from 7am - 8:59 am, is the best hour of the day.
By having professional date selection service, from this clucth of dates, the specialist will consider matching it in-depth to their peronal Bazi. This is an additional layer of personalisation that those of you who have some knowledge of BaZi. However, for basic selection, all the five steps above, is sufficient to ensure a reasonably good date and time for marriage.
Related Articles :
Date Selection - The 12 Day Officers (建除十二神) in Chinese Alamanac "Tong Shu" 通書
BaZi Feng Shui Archives
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